What do you say to an Ol' Lady with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't told her twice already. I know it sounds a little harsh but brethren it is the truth. Since there seems to be so much confusion and gray areas around this subject I have decided to go ahead and just list plainly the basic guidelines to being a biker's ol' lady. Brothers, I am giving you the words but it is completely up to you to enforce them. I made a promise on New Years to stop being Captain Save A Ho'.
1. First and foremost it is important that they understand it is what they're told, when they're told, and how they're told. You must make sure that this is driven home right away. If you don't you will have a self thinker on your hands.
2. A woman should always make sure that the newest Harley t-shirts are cleaned and ironed first. Last year's pattern should only be worn in a situation of desperation, or you're on your way to a smash down. Two year old patterns are used for working on the bike.
3. I don't care if it's 4:00 am. If my bro's stop by after closing time and want breakfast you better get up and get it made.
4. A good ol' lady will keep that house spotless. No oil stains on the living room carpet and no shit stains in the toilet.
5. A good ol' lady will always make sure the beer is cold and the hookah is full.
6. Every Saturday is steak night and it better be the way a steak should be served; still mooing.
7. There are really only 5 colors that are acceptable in the decorating of the house. Black, orange, silver, chrome, and steel. If it has a chopper involved, all the better.
8. If you want ankle biters they better be taught right from start by your ol' lady that the kids will be silent during any Kid Rock video or MMA match. Diapers should never be seen or smelled.
9. The bike gets washed and waxed before the floor.
10. This one is for the bro's. If y'all are stupid enough to really take any of this serious you deserve what you get. My ol' lady is my friend, partner, lover, and on more than one occasion my life saver. She is my queen and will always be treated that way. I'm all bull but I know in the good and the bad that woman will always be by my side proud of what ever I have done.
Kindred it is always a blast for me to try to get under someones skin. I'm just wired that way but most of the time its all done in fun. As always, "Ride it like you stole it." I love you guys and hold you all dear in my heart.
Wolf
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